Are pigs flying?
Every day I log on to CNN to read about the latest happenings at home and around the world. Some of the news stories these days just make me think that the world is coming to an end. Hell has frozen over. Pigs are flying. Fat ladies are singing.
Here is my Top 5 list of reasons why I think the world might actually be coming to an end:
1. Sarah Palin is still talking, and people are still listening. Her latest attack? Michelle Obama for trying to do something about childhood obesity in the US. Yeah, Mrs. Obama, that is such a f-cked up crusade you are on.
2. Snooki is a New York Times Best Selling Author (she's right there at #24). I don't think I really need to say anymore about that do I?
3. There is a hotel in Madrid made of garbage. Needless to say, you don't have to pay to spend the night there. On a positive note, this is supposed to raise awareness about the pollution of the world's oceans.
4. Scientists have warned of a "superstorm" that could, maybe, possibly hit California. This definitely signals the end of time, because Californians can barely tolerate 1" of rain. They will all kill each other on the freeways.
5. A psycho like Jared Loughner is allowed to purchase a gun, and then use that gun to kill several people; THEN, actually smile in his mug shot. Hateful.
Since the world is officially ending, I am giving up all fruits and vegetables, I will watch soap operas all day long, along with the Jersey Shore, I will drink at least one bottle of wine a day, and I will give up my job search. Ok, not really. Well, maybe the bottle of a wine a day...
Go out today and do something nice for someone, just because. Maybe then the world won't seem like it's coming to an end.
Here is my Top 5 list of reasons why I think the world might actually be coming to an end:
1. Sarah Palin is still talking, and people are still listening. Her latest attack? Michelle Obama for trying to do something about childhood obesity in the US. Yeah, Mrs. Obama, that is such a f-cked up crusade you are on.
2. Snooki is a New York Times Best Selling Author (she's right there at #24). I don't think I really need to say anymore about that do I?
3. There is a hotel in Madrid made of garbage. Needless to say, you don't have to pay to spend the night there. On a positive note, this is supposed to raise awareness about the pollution of the world's oceans.
4. Scientists have warned of a "superstorm" that could, maybe, possibly hit California. This definitely signals the end of time, because Californians can barely tolerate 1" of rain. They will all kill each other on the freeways.
5. A psycho like Jared Loughner is allowed to purchase a gun, and then use that gun to kill several people; THEN, actually smile in his mug shot. Hateful.
Since the world is officially ending, I am giving up all fruits and vegetables, I will watch soap operas all day long, along with the Jersey Shore, I will drink at least one bottle of wine a day, and I will give up my job search. Ok, not really. Well, maybe the bottle of a wine a day...
Go out today and do something nice for someone, just because. Maybe then the world won't seem like it's coming to an end.
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