MIS-adventures in UN-employment

Last night, in our efforts to not only support our favorite local, neighborhood businesses, but also preserve our stockpile of house supplies, we ordered a pizza from our besties at Buona Forchetta (um, they were also offering 30% off their wine bottles to go….WHAT? Shop local and all that people!) As I was typing out my entry for day 2, I looked over at Rob and he had this funny look on his face. I asked him what was up, to which he replied “I am JUST so excited about getting pizza tonight…” It’s the little things in life I guess.  One pizza actually turned in to FOUR pizzas, thanks to my good friend Lauren who suggested we get a couple extra to have on hand. Thank you, Lauren. Along with our pizza we grabbed 2 bottles of wine. I have decided that a “one day on, one day off” strategy of drinking sounds about right at this point in time, although, much like everything else these days that could change hour-by-hour.  As you can probably predict by now, I did not get up...

Birds chirping. That’s my alarm ring tone, and it’s the most pleasant sound to wake up to. It is not, however, the most motivating sound to get you out of bed and on the road to “Productive Human of the Month”. I hit snooze a few times. Checked my email (everything is closing). Scrolled through Instagram (same same). Perused Facebook (where I saw an utterly ridiculous comment written by my dad in response to one of my posts, but that story is for another day). By the time I literally ROLLED out of bed, I was already behind “schedule” (what schedule?).  I checked on my sourdough loaf that had been proofing overnight (I forgot to mention that in my list of ALL the things I got accomplished the day before, gold star for me!), set it out for the second proof, and took the dog for a walk. Wait, no that’s not right. I made coffee, toasted a slice of bread, THEN took the dog for a walk, approximately 1 hour later. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if I got out of my pajamas before no...

As you can probably predict from the end of the previous post (wine), I did NOT get up at a decent hour on Monday morning. I don’t think I even got out of my pajamas until noon. So far, not so good.  Our friend Kiki (ok, we can her Kristen, but Kiki just sounds so exotic and makes me seem cooler than I am) texted to say she was off to the grocery store, did we need anything? Actually, yes, we did need stuff, but my list was a little too long to ask someone to shop for it. Basically, we were all stocking up on pantry items, preparing for the impending apocalyptic shut-down. I mean, we had already read about, and seen with our own eyes, the empty shelves in the stores (honestly people, you know you can wash your ass in the shower, WHY are you hoarding toilet paper???), so the time was now to make sure the pantry was full. Personally, I had been adding a little more to my grocery cart over the last week. But my idea of making sure I was ready for a quarantine are the following it...

I would like to preface the following paragraph by saying that it will get lighter, and funnier (I hope!) Yesterday, after teaching a heated yoga class, I made the hard decision to step away from teaching any yoga or fitness classes going forward. With both of my studios remaining open, but imposing weird rules and regulations “to keep people safe” like: you can’t use any props, limit equipment use, the door must remain open for airflow, or limiting class sizes; students saying things like “I need to sweat it out” or “it’s not hot enough in the studio”; people thinking that cleaning products using essential oils are adequate to truly sanitize equipment used and abused my tens of people;  and, the straw that broke the camel’s back? As I left the studio feeling uneasy about how stupid some people can be, I looked into the bar next door, one of those bars with arcade games…and lo and behold. PEOPLE. PLAYING ARCADE GAMES. LOTS OF PEOPLE. TOUCHING BUTTONS AND SURFACES AND LI...